why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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