I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
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Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
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If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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