I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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