i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
