apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Welp...herpes.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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