Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She even gives head with a lisp.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
