what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
