Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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