Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
