Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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