You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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