Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
