I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
