too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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