lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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