bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
