He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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