There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
