he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
my sisters under your porch take her home
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
