my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
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We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
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if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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