you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
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