U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
