I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
