ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
