I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
