never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
