I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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