just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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