I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize