you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
