You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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