ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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