Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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