Kiss
Puke
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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