Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
