just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
