I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
