It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize