Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
