I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Everything about him screamed your future.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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