He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm always down for nudity.
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