Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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