I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
the raccoons are back...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
