For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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