do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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