I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
