life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize