A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
