I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
