Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
