I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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