P.S. I can't hear my feet
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I enjoy the company of your penis
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
