i think my tv is drunk
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
