There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
