Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
