I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
