She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
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