Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Randomize
