i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
